


"I'm Not Ready..."

by flickawhip



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6785740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickawhip/pseuds/flickawhip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ace thinks about the women she has loved the most...</p><p>Written for Obscure & British: Doctor Who- Ace/her Girl of the Week (Mags, Gwendoline, Shou, Karra), not quite ready for goodbyes – The impact they have on Ace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heartsick

Ace stares blindly at the wall of the TARDIS as they leave the ruins behind. Gwendoline was the first real time she started to think about who she was… who she had become. Gwendoline. Kind, sweet Gwendoline. 

She had been easy to mould and yet… Ace knew she had done something terribly wrong. She was heartsick, fed up of goodbyes she wasn’t ready to say. She had been forced to say goodbye to Gwendoline. 

She would never try to fix someone again. She couldn’t. It hurt too much. 

All the same she can’t help smiling a little that she had been able to take her dress… the dress Gwendoline had given her. A memory of what might have been had she had more time.


	2. Headstrong

“Professor, she needs us… we can’t leave her…”

Ace refused to leave. She hates clowns, hates circuses but the echoes of Mags’ screams are too much, she cannot leave her behind. She isn’t ready yet, she can’t stay longer but she can’t leave her to suffer. 

Eventually, of course, the Professor wins and Ace is left to look at Mags, shivering, miserable and alone. She has to leave, but, this time she has time on her side. The Professor has given her time, promised to wait. 

She closes the gap between them, kissing Mags goodbye gently, a promise to somehow, someway, come back… when she can.


	3. Hopeful

Shou Yuing reminds her of herself. Enough so that she refuses to leave her in danger. She is in danger herself and she knows, just as the words are about to leave her mouth that she must fight for her, for them both. Tears start to her eyes as her voice cracks and her eyes meet Shou’s, seeking forgiveness. Shou says nothing, closes the gap, holds her. They wait, praying that their strength will win. 

The battle ends, eventually, and Shou is left with them for only a little longer. Shou will join UNIT, changed forever, a second in command that Ace knows Bambera needs. Still she’s not ready to say goodbye. They exchange addresses, although Ace knows it will be rare for her to be home, still, she will try to stay in touch. Shou reminds her too much of herself to leave behind.


	4. Hopeless

“Good Hunt Sister…”

Karra’s words haunt Ace as she sits, fighting off the aching in her heart. She knew, deep down, that she had loved Karra, as she should a man. She had never felt that before, for anyone. Except, she realises now, she did, she has… Suzie, Shou, Gwendoline…. Mags. Mags who Karra so reminded her of. Mags who had been the first interest she had taken beyond friendship. 

Tears start to her eyes and she finds herself fidgeting with the necklace. 

“Good hunt Sister.”

She speaks the words softly, kisses the necklace and swear she will find a way back to the girls she so loved, those she had left alive. Suzie, Shou, Mags… Gwendoline had been her first loss but it is only now she feels it hurting. 

Stillness fills the TARDIS and Ace inhales, swearing to learn, to become stronger, better, kinder. She will stop running from who she is.   
The hunt begins again.


End file.
